Pork Satay with Coconut curry sauce

Thai food, hands down, is probably one of my favorite cuisines.  Spicy, loaded with Herbs like Kaffir lime leaves, Galangal, and spices galore. As luck would have it, I have a wonderful Thai market near my home, but most of these products can easily be found in an Asian market, or even in the Asian section of your grocery store.

Satay is thin strips of meat, which are marinated, then stuck on skewers and grilled.  a common form in most restaurants is chicken, but I had a large piece of pork shoulder that I was breaking down, and decided to shave off a couple thin strips to make a quick snack.  Satay is normally served with a spicy peanut sauce, but I don't care for peanuts, in fact, you could say I despise them, so I made a quick curry sauce to go with it.


Ingredients: 1 Serving

3oz thin sliced pork shoulder (any meat will work however)
2 tsp green curry paste seperated into (2) 1tsp amounts
1 tsp soy sauce  + ,more TT
4 tbsp of coconut milk

That's it.

Start by taking your strips of pork and pounding them with a mallet (when cooking barefoot, do not attempt to stop a falling mallet with your foot...OUCH!)

Take the soy sauce and 1 tsp of green curry paste, and rub the pork with the mixture, let sit for 30 minutes.  While the pork is marinating, take your skewers and soak them in water, and turn your grill on to heat up.

Take the coconut milk and remaining curry paste and mix thoroughly, adding soy sauce until you get the desired salt level.

Grill the pork and serve with the sauce, simple, and delicious.

H'outrageous H'orderves:Bacon-Cheese Jalapenos Boats

Alright ketoers, I am going to cut right to the chase on this recipe, it is quite possibly the best thing I have ever made, and while simple, it hits every note you can think of. Creamy for the warm cream cheese, spicy from the jalapenos, and salty, smokey, and ever so slightly sweet from that delicious bacon.  I know, I know, this is so simple, but I promise, if you throw a party with H'orderves, these will be the first things gone, and the last thing people are talking about as they leave.  they are seriously that good.

Ingredients:
4 Jalapenos halved, seeded but keep the stem on.
3 oz  cream cheese
4 strips chopped bacon+ 4 bacon strips halved.
1 tsp of garlic powder
1 tsp of chili powder
1 dash of onion powder

Fry up the chopped bacon until super crispy but not burned, do no drain.

In a bowl mash your cream chese up with the spices until it is softened.

While your bacon is crisping, halve and seed your Jallies.   You can remove the stem, but I like to keep the stem base on, it gives a little handle to hold onto, and it doesn't soften like the flesh of the pepper so this makes it much easier to eat.

When your bacon is crispy, add it, along with the bacon fat into your cheese and mix thoroughly

Stuff those bad boys and wrap in bacon.

NOTE: I don't buy strip bacon, my grocer carries bacon end pieces in the meat section, it usually has some strips mixed in with all the gnarly thick pieces they are left with after slicing the strips, those thick pieces make amazing Lardons, so that's what I get, therefore my boats are topped with slices, rather than wrapped.

Bake in a 350°F oven until the peppers are soft and the bacon is nice a crispy, I like to use a wire rack to back on the so the bacon crisps all around, I find that if you dont, the bottoms get soggy, and no one like soggy bottoms.

This recipe is so simple, that it can easily be multiplied, as it is, I would say it serves 2, although who am I kidding I ate them all.

Keto friendly "McGriddle"

Before keto, I honestly rarely ate breakfast, I would generally drink something totally unhealthy, like a coke or red bull, and be on my way.  It wasn't that I wasn't hungry per say, but I am not a huge fan of breakfast foods, I can stand eggs if scrambled, well Beaten because egg whites make me gag, and bacon, while delicious as a flavoring for savory dishes, doesn't have a very good calorie to satiation ratio as a protein on its own.  My one weakness however, and the treat I usually got on pay day, was a McGriddle with egg and cheese.  Obviously this is not keto friendly, but damn the maple and egg and cheese, which shouldn't work, works so well.  This recipe uses a modified version of the Oopsie, or Revolution Roll, and surprisingly mimics the squishy McGriddle bun almost perfectly.

Ingredients:

2 Farmer John Maple Links, turned into a patty
2 eggs
1 tsp Sour cream
1/2 slice sharp cheddar cheese
1 oopsie bun, I added a dash of cinnamon to this bun, but its optional


This is a pretty simple recipe, but the way the flavors work really reminded me of the McGriddle.

Start by taking your 2 links, and smashing them into a patty shape. crisp up on both sides and drain on paper towels.

In a bowl crack your eggs and add you sour cream, whisk them briskly, but don't worry about lumps of sour cream, it will all combine once its on the heat.

Note: My grandmother used to mix in a small amount of cream cheese in her eggs, it made the eggs super rich and creamy, and not at all like you get them at most breakfast joints, this is probably why I don't care for eggs any other way, what can I say, she was making Ramsey eggs before Ramsey (I know he uses creme fraiche, but the results are even better IMO)

I made the oopsie rolls the night before, and unfortunately didn't take pictures, but suffice to say a normal one would work fine, however, for this particular roll, I added a dash of cinnamon, and while its not strong, it adds a subtle sweetness that adds to the McGriddle feel.

Put it all together and there you go. Best breakfast I have had since starting keto.

Breakfast o' Champions

Zesty Bleu Ranch Dip

I get my love of bleu cheese definitely from my mom. I absolutely love the stuff, and I put it on anything from burgers to salads, to toast (sorry ma).  This recipe is always a hit, its super simple, and with some cauliflower florets, or celery, or my flax crackers from the previous blog, is a great snack, and an excellent way to get your fat in, without having to eat bacon or butter, not that there is anything wrong with bacon or butter.

Ingredients
16 oz of sour cream
1/2 a package of Ranch dip mix
8 oz of your favor bleu cheese, I love Gorgonzola
the zest of half 1 lemon
and 2 Tbsps of fresh lemon juice
1 Tsp of black pepper

This is super simple, just combine the ingredients in a large mixing bowl, chill, and serve.  I love it chunky, with big chunks of bleu cheese, but you can use a food processor to more thoroughly blend the ingredients if you want a smoother, less pungent dip.

you can also add 2 oz of cream cheese if you want a thicker more scoopable dip, although its pretty thick on its own.

I keep a container of this on hand pretty much at all times, I will even put a Tbsp or 2 in a salad with spinach, bacon, and chicken, add in my favorite simple vingar dressing.









2 Carbs per serving, which is a good 1.5 oz or about 3 Tbsps of the dip.

Garlic and Herb Flax Crisps

I have to say, that since starting keto, I have been pretty content on just about every flavor and texture profile when it comes to food.  The one exception seemed to be that there was no real low carb, tasty, options for chips or crackers.  I found Low carb tortillas, but when fried they got tough, and when eaten raw, they seemed to taste slightly better than the card board they were shipped in.  Alas, I was lost. Enter flax meal.


I must say, the inspiration for the following came from a fellow low carb blogger, IbreatheImhungry.com. I tried her recipe, and I decided to bring up the flavor a bit, as they were still slightly bland.

Ingredients:
1 cup of flax meal
2 eggs
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
2 Tbsp Garlic Powder
2 Tbsp dried Rosemary (use 2 tsp ground if you don't have a spice grinder)
1 Tbsp Dehydrated onion (use 1 tsp onion powder if no grinder)
Sea Salt and Black pepper

Preheat your oven to 350°

Grind the dried herbs until they are a fine powder. You do not want hunks of dried onion or rosemary leaves getting stuck in your teeth.

Mix together all the ingredients besides the salt and pepper and set aside for 5 mins, to let the flax absorb the moisture in the eggs.

between 2 pieces of plastic wrap or parchment paper, roll the dough, in batches, out with a rolling pin until it gets to your desired thickness, I rolled them down to about 1/16th of an inch, but you can make them thicker if you like your crackers thicker.

Once rolled out, you can cut them into any shape you want, I used a rhombus cookie cutter, but you can make them free form, just make sure they are uniform, so they bake evenly. Coat LIBERALLY with salt and pepper, lay evenly on a greased baking sheet, and bake for 10 mins, flip, and then bake for an additional 3.

Note: Timing is obviously going to change depending on the size, so you may want to check at about 5 minutes to see if they are starting to brown up.  

When you first remove them from the oven, they will be slightly greasy, but cooled, they no longer will be.

I served them with a blue Ranch dip, look out for the recipe in an upcoming blog.  but you can serve them however you want.

This Recipe makes A LOT of crisps.  I put 6 servings, but in reality, you could probably get close to 100 pieces depending on how thin you roll them out, I still have more than half the dough left in the fridge, after making 3 batches to test for flavor.